Tom wordt regelmatig benaderd door buitenlandse organisaties. Soms beantwoordt hij na een video- of audio uitzending nog vragen. Hieronder een kort stukje van zo'n vraag & antwoord sessie.
Participant 1: What is the difference between not letting your emotions control/paralyse you (or as I heard “distancing yourself from them”) and suppressing them? I cannot find a middle ground.
Tom: There is no middle ground, that is not the way to go about it. People have been trying this for ages and it doesn't work. Since they're your emotions, you are the one that creates them. No one can create your emotions for you, your interpretations do. The only way – and I can't stress enough that this is not a choice – is to start to understand how you create them in the first place. The answer is found in your interpretations, which are only how you see things, not reality. There is your opening. Allowing – which is a keyword – yourself to change your perception about the subject in question will also change your emotions.
Emotions are always feedback about the perception you hold on to. That is all they are. Perception, how you perceive things, is not reality – so it can be changed. This is an absolute. So then, how do you change your perception, and therefore your emotions? By understanding that resistance to what actually is is causing negative emotions and that accepting what is causes positive emotions. Both are feedback. Not about the truth, but about your truth, which is as good or bad as anyone else's personal truth. A real ego basher and therefore very hard to accept as reality. Yet, finally past that, a whole new world will open up for you.
Participant 2: Do you have any useful drills for growing that skill?
Tom: Well, it is not a skill, it is what you prefer to do, naturally. Just note how tiring it is to fight your own emotions. What would happen if you stopped that? You would relax. But of course, the ideas behind it fuel those emotions, so they keep coming! Therefore, the answer is to step by step start to realise that right and wrong, good and bad are perceptive. They are not to be applied to anyone or any situation as an absolute, rather as a subjective indication of your own current preferences. This has immense implications, so take your time. You will fight with this, but it will provide you with more answers about actual reality, yourself and others than you have ever dreamed of, I assure you.